October 30, 2019

Greetings one and all!

Thanks so much for your kind wishes and concerns this past week! I am fully recovered, but my husband Eric had prostate surgery a day after my procedure and he is not doing well. I should know by today whether he will have to go back into the hospital. If not, I will be heading to TN tomorrow. Feel free to email or text me at 859-221-3034 if you need anything!

I've had a lot of time to think this past week. Something I've been realizing is that each of us has a small child within us that needs attention, affirmation, and affection. Or, as Wordsworth famously penned, "the child is father of the man."

My Heart Leaps Up

My heart leaps up when I behold
A rainbow in the sky:
So was it when my life began;
So is it now I am a man;
So be it when I shall grow old,
Or let me die!
The Child is father of the Man;
And I could wish my days to be
Bound each to each by natural piety

William Wordsworth

I never fully understood that quote. Wordsworth is talking about a joyful innocence that he hopes never to lose.

I think it also applies to the needs and longings we may have suppressed, but which are still somewhere within us. We wear the facade of the responsible adult on the outside and rarely acknowledge the needy child, particularly those of us who were neglected in a substantial way.

I've spoken a few times about how we can be more whole and live more purposefully. I said that you can start anywhere on the circle: love yourself, love the other, love the world. But many people feel stymied by the suggestion to "love yourself." I know because it left me nonplussed for decades. I think those of us who are up in years were not raised to love ourselves. Instead most of us learned to be responsible, diligent, successful, and often, competitive.

It was only through years and years of having a spiritual practice that I finally became capable of self regard and self love. There are a few shortcuts I'll share as our acquaintance grows. One is to picture yourself as a small child and imagine tenderly holding and reassuring that young you. At some point, the critical dialogue that runs through your head will silence, and when it pipes up, you will reply, sticking up for yourself as you would for a child of yours.

It's a frightening and discouraging world. There's not a lot of love to spare. So it seems.... until we realize there's more than enough, that it can only increase, that it is indeed all we have.

Go in love,

Cynthia