November 13, 2019
Dear GNUUC family,
Have you ever thought about the value of gratitude?
Many of my friends and colleagues have started a gratitude “practice” on Facebook. Each day, they challenge themselves to notice and record three things for which they are grateful.
For me, on this day, I might list:
I am grateful for the separation of powers that have brought us to the hearings on Impeachment. Shaky as the authority of the Constitution has been, it still stands as a remarkable document that sets us apart among modern countries.
I am grateful for my adult children. My middle son, Colin, turned 35 yesterday, and I always think on these celebrations of birth how incredibly lucky I am to have had these four children in my life.
I am so grateful for the leadership and for all of you here at GNUUC. My first few months have been such a privilege and a pleasure, getting to know you and being present in your lives.
Can you list three things you are grateful for in the days between now and Thanksgiving? Let me know if you try this and, if so, whether it makes any difference in your outlook.
This exercise is closely related to Appreciative Inquiry, which your Board leadership has been studying and using. AI, as it is sometimes called, requires an approach that is revolutionary for traditional organizations, particularly churches. The usual mindset is to look for what’s wrong and then go about trying to find solutions.
With holidays upon us, we can use gratitude and Appreciative techniques to have a very different experience. This year, especially, we may have more anxiety than ever due to the climate in this country.
This is not easy! It’s probably much more simple to drink a stiff bourbon so nothing fazes you, or develop a migraine so you can escape.
We’re talking about a real transformed way of interacting with others and experiencing the world. Robert Voyle, an Episcopal priest who brought AI to churches, says it requires what he calls a conversion.
This is not merely “sterile happy talk”. Nor is it simply changing the subject.(How about those Cats? as we say in Kentucky) Because you stay engaged and seek deeper meaning, highest values, and shared dreams ~ what he calls “articulation of things that matter,” you aren’t just playing Pollyanna. How can you do it? Ask questions.
You will find that people are initially taken quite by surprise when asked appreciative questions, but that very quickly, trust and a renewed vigor come about. Seek the commendable and steer away from judgment.
Ask questions that attend to memories, feelings, and imagination rather than or in addition to analysis and opinions. Simply asking that impossible relative a query about his/her favorite Thanksgiving and listening with enthusiasm could shift everything, for them as well as for you.
Again, if we’ve always had a deficit view, this is even more challenging than it sounds. AI is “less a technique than it is a commitment.”
It is really a radically new way of looking at the world, and it is possible only when we ourselves feel a deep appreciation for the gifts we have been given. That’s because as we experience true gratitude, we naturally give. We become able to give our time, our attention, and our goodwill to others out of a deep feeling of abundance and joy.
If this intrigues you, here are two of the best resources, the first for churches and the second for secular organizations
http://www.clergyleadership.com/appreciative-inquiry-resources/appreciative-inquiry-resources.cfm
https://appreciativeinquiry.champlain.edu/