August 28, 2019

Hello GNUUC members & friends!

I was so honored to be a part of Dan Rosemergy’s memorial on Saturday.

Beyond that, I was impressed by the thoughtful, genuine, and elegant handling of everything: the building and grounds modifications; the lovely and delicious reception; the stunning flower displays; and the number of members who stepped up to help make things go smoothly. 

I’ve been thinking about why these elements are handled so well at GNUUC. I’ve worked at much larger congregations where people either won’t or don’t volunteer, and the feelings of burden and resentment are omnipresent. “This isn’t what I expected when I started attending church!” some active members may say. 

I also observed the care that has been given to Theresa Tarkington-Kersey since her unfortunate accident on Thursday eve. I watched as a member of the lay caring committee visited with her… how very well she reassured and comforted her, by listening and reflecting, by engaging her in conversation but making no judgments or assumptions. I know that the last thing Theresa expected was to be laid up for the next few months when she is such an active and capable member of our community.

Our expectations (about church, about relationships, about our health and longevity) can be gradually whittled away or dashed in seconds. Trying to meet the expectations of others can become a loathsome burden, engendering self-doubt and recrimination. Are we wrong or is it the expectations that were wrong?

In September, I’ll be talking about expectations: what we find out about our family and close relationships using family systems and intergenerational transmission models; what we as individuals in society can reasonably expect from our institutions, our associations, and the environment, and how we grow as humans when we understand and can synthesize our hopes, dreams, and unmet or unsatisfied longings. I hope you will join me on September 8 and don’t forget: bring a memento or a photo of your grandparents, if you have one, or someone you looked up to like a grandparent.

See you on Sunday!

Cynthia