Hello from my isolation to yours!

I am here in Kentucky at my farm. Seth is watching Monty Python and laughing. Eric is busy building porches and renovating our tiny house. We had planned to use some inheritance funds to build a house on the ridge of our land, but we decided it would be more sustainable to fix this one up. At first, I was disappointed, because since we bought this 25-acre farm, I’ve planned and expected to move out to the lower acreage, where it’s breezy even in hot weather and where the view is gorgeous year-round. I pictured spending my older years there, at least until it becomes impractical.

But that particular dream is not to be. Losing something that you never had is nonetheless a trigger for grief. I went through a deep depression after my divorce thirty years ago, even though I was the one who left. It took me many years and much internal work to understand that I was grieving the loss of a future with my family intact. It doesn’t matter whether the loss was expected, celebrated, or sudden and devastating. The effects are much the same. Grief is different than depression. It’s necessary, and it ultimately makes us free.

Is there a dream or a future you hoped or worked for, but must let go? It could be dancing, writing, travel, having a happy marriage or a big family. It could be a healthy old age or a good relationship with your grown children. Your deepest Wisdom will tell you, through your dreams, your health, and finally, if you don’t grieve, through depression. Isolation makes depression worse. If you notice signs of clinical depression worsening, please reach out. There are resources out there for everyone. What we can do for one another right now, when isolation is mandatory, when we cannot go to our exercise classes, our book groups, or our church services, is to keep our GNUUC community alive in spirit as well as body.

I’m working with your leaders and we all desperately want each of you to know we are here for you. If needed, I can be in Nashville in under 3 hours. There are younger, healthier members who can bring you things you may need. There is money that we can use to help you if you are out of work or financially challenged. We can also help you find the resources you may need.

Finally, as I’ve told you, my son Colin likes to tell the rest of us when we are gloomy, “Go help someone!” It’s annoying, but he’s right. It always works. If we can reach out, even in small ways, to others, we will feel better!

So, what I ask for you today is to help me and help one another. It’s difficult for me to make calls here because our cell connection is iffy. I will be calling a few people a day, but you can serve by calling one other person a day. If you aren’t comfortable calling, look at your GNUUC Directory and send someone that you don’t know well a note or card. Introduce yourself and tell them about you. Maybe they will write back!

If you find that the isolation is too much, if there are things you need or need help with, you can contact me by e-mail or by text or call (brief calls work fine) at cyncain@gnuuc.org OR (859) 221-3034.

I love you and I know we will get through this! We can do it with fear or love. Choose love.

Cynthia

Here are a few resources I recommend!

Calm is a meditation app that usually has a fee, but is providing music, stories (they are wonderful!), sleep and many other guided meditations. Click here for their free resources

If you’d like to try Zen practice or listen to a Dharma talk, check out Upaya Zen Center here.

The view from our yard out to the ridge and forests. Innisfree Farm

March 18: Minister's Notes: How is your Spirit?

Here are a few resources I recommend!