September 23, 2020: Forgiving Ourselves
The Binding of Isaac
On Sunday, we shared music and ideas about the Jewish New Year, which includes Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. The ten days between are the Days of Awe, when the faithful turn toward one another and ask for forgiveness.
We also forgive ourselves.
In my Buddhist meditation practice these past months, I have been deeply influenced by my teachers who have also evolved in our twenty years’ separation. Their once-Zen practice has been shaped and molded by many new learnings and it is completely dependent upon self-regard and self-compassion as the basis for all spiritual development.
Sometimes, Caitriona will sing: Treat yourself with tenderness, treat yourself with tenderness… I was so surprised to hear her sing the first time!
I shared the story of the Prodigal Son because it is so often told in connection with forgiveness, but it is another story, perhaps the most troubling one in the Hebrew Scriptures, that is told on Rosh Hashanah: The Binding of Isaac.
Abraham is tested by Yahweh who orders him to sacrifice his only son. He obeys, and at the last moment, God steps in and spares Isaac.
What kind of God is that?
At the very least, it seems like a cruel God, one with a bad sense of humor.
There are dozens of midrashim, or explanations on this text. Here’s mine, because I think this is not only a story about Man and God, but a story about human nature.
Life tries us. Sometimes just getting dressed can be a test of will and spirit.
We are being tested by the Universe right now, and much of the suffering was caused not by God’s cruelty or even Nature’s indifference, but by our own willful, greedy, and thoughtless ways.
I also agree with the midrash that reflects upon the notion that it sometimes takes near tragedy to understand the importance of what we have, including the value of our loved one:
It took an unfathomable divine decree, for Abraham to be truly present with his son. All of us face the test of Abraham. Will it take a moment of crisis before we walk together with those we love?
No one would rejoice at the deaths and suffering this time has wrought.
Nonetheless, we have a collective opportunity to go deeper into our own truth, to reunite with what truly matters, and to become more whole. Let us not squander it!
Love,
Cynthia