GNUUC friends:

You should be so proud of your leadership!

As the coronavirus has continued to expand in the United States, schools, businesses, and houses of worship have shut down. Even though CV-19 is only showing up in a handful of persons, in Tennessee, wisdom and experience (as well as common sense) tell us that the outbreak here is just weeks away.

The GNUUC Board along with the Healthy Congregations Team (HCT) held a Zoom meeting and discussed the epidemic and our response to it in detail. I mostly listened, because it’s my policy to empower leadership, and they were doing a great job without my two cents! Not only should you be proud of their decision-making process, you should be impressed by the care and concern for each of you, along with the respectful and thoughtful way they interact with one another. I can honestly say that I’ve never seen a Board with such an enlightened process. With an MD, several tech people, and people who “get” data and information, they made hopeful but realistic decisions for the immediate future and set the stage for future emergencies. I feel honored to be working hand-in-hand with them.

Speaking of hands: I know many UU ministers who are saying they’d rather err on the side of caution than act too late or do too little, and I also have confidence that our members are intelligent, rational, and compassionate people who can and will make good decisions. I trust you all to do this. Keep calm and wash your hands! (with soap)

I made a few points with our Board, and I wish to share them with you:

We are not a school where control is very challenging. We are not a business where it is near impossible. We are a community, a chosen family, and a chosen faith. Remember I said last week that “faith” can be seen as triadic. It is a felt sense of relation between 1) oneself and 2) the “other” as conditioned by 3) loyalty to a center of power and value.

1)      We can have faith in humanity’s basic goodness, in cycles of life and death and renewal, in ourselves and our fellow congregants to function as they always have.

2)      Let us temper our fear with love. Love and respect for the “other”. Caution tempered by the reality that even in Nashville, and so much more so throughout the world, the ability to self-quarantine is a privilege that most do not have. We know that having their homes flattened and losing all their possessions annihilates the anxiety about potential spread of CV-19 for hundreds if not thousands in our own city.

3)      We are a church. Our job is to be there for one another, and to reach out to the wider community. As anxious as we may well be or become, and even if you decide to avoid public meetings or services, you can do many things to help the tornado victims, to write and call legislators, to educate yourself and to keep tabs on our vulnerable GNUUC members. Vulnerable means not just the aged but those who are chronically ill, who have no choice but to work, who are economically marginalized, and who are beset by fear and/or anxiety. Because not everyone can “Keep Calm” just because we tell them to!

However this plays out in our city, your leaders and your minister (aged though I apparently am!) will be available to listen, to help where possible, and to extend love.

With hope and faith,

Cynthia

How quickly things can change!

We awoke on Tuesday to the horrible news of the tornado in Nashville. I was at home in KY, and I hated the feeling of being separated from this city, which I have come to love. As we learned that our members and our building weren’t personally affected, I felt relief, yet I know that it is now time to reach out and help others. Nashville is our home, and it surprised me to find that I felt so deeply attached in such a short time.

And the disaster will affect us all: the folks at FUUN have also mostly escaped harm, but when I last I spoke, they were still canvassing members, and I learned that some of their members knew two of the deceased. Places you love and which are a part of your narrative were ripped to shreds leaving scenes that evoke the apocalypse.

I am so impressed by the way you all reached out to others and particularly grateful to our Pastoral Care team, who were immediately on top of making connections.

Carol, Mike, Theresa, David, Sarajane, Loretta, and Sandy are the current members. You can contact any one of them for needs. Some are trained caregivers and some just have the wisdom that comes from experience, sometimes painful experience.

I am going to suggest that our congregation pool our gifts of money so that we can make a real difference rather than drops in a deep bucket. I’ve reached out and hope to have chosen a fund or project that will benefit communities of color, historically marginalized or disadvantaged groups, such as LGBTQ+ persons, or other groups who may not be at the top of some groups’ giving list. Please let me know immediately if you can suggest a group or fund that we can give to.

I also learned mid-day Tuesday that a friend who was only one year older than I had died suddenly. His daughters went to Spanish Immersion school with Marjorie; we’d gone to his home many times; both my son and my husband were in his History class during their undergrad years. He had been an icon in Lexington: liberal, outspoken, and beloved. He had occasionally attended the UU Church, but had no formal religious affiliation. No one expected him to die. The shock in and around Lexington is palpable.

You might think: Well, one guy died, and it’s sad, but look around at Nashville! There have been a thousand deaths, of hopes, dreams, visions, and memories.

That’s a funny thing about grief. It can be more devastating in some circumstances than in others we think would be far worse. With Jake Gibbs, his loss is deeply felt by so many, because he stood for all that was open, progressive, and wise about Lexington. More than just a person has been lost. From a fellow council member: “Our community has lost a ‘Rockstar’ in regards to local politics,” Brown said. “His positive demeanor made him easy to talk to about making Lexington safer, greener, more pedestrian and cyclist friendly. He was a regular guy with big heart, he loved his family, his friends and this community. I consider it an honor to have served with him on council, but it was truly an honor to be his friend.”

Jake (more here) was a champion for the underserved and underprivileged, both as a teacher and as a City Council member. He was the champion of a vision that is so very threatened in this world. Those who mourn him also grieve for the demise of democracy, civility, and integrity in our public sphere..

So it will be in Nashville. You may not have had a personal loss or a loss of property, but nonetheless you will grieve. Something that you are part of and that is a part of you has died, and will never be the same.

More on Sunday as we look at wisdom, age, and loss.

Cynthia

The dream is the small hidden door in the deepest and most intimate sanctum of the soul.

 ~  C.G. Jung

Hello Dear GNUUCers!

I’ve missed everyone so much! It’s been a little over two weeks since I saw most of you, but it feels much longer. Yesterday was the first day I left the farm (other than to go for walks) and the first time I drove in 14 days. It’s humbling and edifying to depend upon others and to be confronted with mortality and lack of mobility. It can make you discouraged and depressed or be a spur to live more intentionally and learn the greatest wisdom: the wisdom of letting go.

As a fan and erstwhile student (by which I mean I am no expert despite having read and experienced Jungian philosophy for ten years)of Carl Jung, I rejoice in his proclamations that life can be fully experienced and explored until it ends. He often said that it was the second half of life during which we gain wisdom. And as long as we are cognizant, we can experience the wonders of travel, that is, travel inwards to explore what he calls the “soul” or what we may call the “Self.”

An excellent way to engage in self-discovery and to tap into the wisdom that we already possess is to analyze our dreams. I’ll be talking with you about that and other doors to consciousness on March 8th and 15th. If you’d like to send me a dream that you have recorded, you can do so via e-mail. I may include it in the morning’s service with your permission. A few requirements: write the dream in the first person PRESENT. “I am going into a house and I see a tall, slender woman with black hair.” Just write as much as you remember without including any reflections. Then, after you’ve written it (snippets are fine), tell me what your feeling was during the dream": Fear? Joy? Annoyance? Let me know if it’s a recurring dream.

Don’t worry. I will not be analyzing anyone. Only the dreamer can say for sure what the dream means.

I’ve long felt that dreamwork (which I started at least 25 years ago) is a perfect spiritual practice for UUs. Jung would say that dreams originate in both our own unconscious and the collective unconscious. You may find that a stretch. But even if you acknowledge that dreams are comprised of our own inner landscapes, it’s not hard to find helpful messages. Jeremy Taylor, a UU minister (now deceased) and widely acknowledged dream instructor/author, says that dreams never come to tell us something we already know.

I hope to see you all this Sunday as we have an introduction to the topic of Wisdom, and through the month as well. Thanks to each and every one of you for the cards, notes, texts, and well wishes. You are a genuinely caring and loving group of friends. What a blessing to one another and to all who join you.

Cynthia

Hello GNUUCers & Friends,

I hope you enjoyed learning a bit about Jung and a few of the principles he discovered. His writings are somewhat dense and dry, but much has been written and spoken about him that is helpful if you want to take a deeper dive. I will list a few podcasts that you may enjoy and suggest some books.

One of the juiciest things about ministry is that when I embark upon a topic, I spend time either reacquainting myself or familiarizing myself before I engage with the sermon. It’s been several years since I read about and studied Jung, and my grasp of the concepts had grown stale.

But whenever I share a topic with you during the service, I always find that I need to hear the words I’ve spoken as much as or more than you may. It’s much like any kind of teaching: in order to be helpful to others, you will be learning and growing, too.

After speaking with you on Sunday, I had surgery on my 65th birthday. It was a bit more extensive than I had planned, and I spent one night in the hospital. What I noticed about myself was that I engaged so much more personally with all the nursing and care staff. I remembered and called them by their names. I made sure to tell them how much I appreciated them, asked them how they managed 12-hour shifts and commented upon something I liked about them. I focused upon them as individuals rather than an extension or projection of my discomfort or worry. I looked around me before the operation began and noticed more details about the room and the people than I ever have done before surgery.

I wasn’t consciously doing this because I’d been studying Jung, but so much of his message deals with how we can have more joyful and meaningful lives through our own decisions and interactions. We all have burdens, griefs, and unfilled dreams. We cannot control so much of life and its vicissitudes. But we can control how we engage life. This makes us more resilient and more individuated. Much like the lessons taught by mindfulness, recovery programs, and Jungian Dream work, we really can center ourselves in this day which, no matter what the news tells us, is all we really have. It will make us more aware of those around us, more loving and forgiving, and ultimately happier and more resilient.

I wish you a happy moment or two or a dozen this day.

Yours with love,

Cynthia

PODCASTS

https://jungchicago.org/blog/

https://speakingofjung.com/podcast

https://jungian.libsyn.com/

BOOKS

These are for relationships and very good:

https://harvilleandhelen.com/

Dream and Dreamwork:

http://www.jeremytaylor.com/books_and_dvds/index.html#

Jeremy Taylor was a UU minister and one of the most accessible and renowned dream experts.I recommend Where People Fly and Water Runs Uphill  to start with.

A word of caution: do not use dream “dictionaries”. Do not engage in dream analysis without some training. Do not employ Jungian theory or practice upon yourself. Don’t use the materials to diagnose yourself and especially not to diagnose/judge others. It’s always a temptation but I caution against it! Find a Jungian analyst, spiritual director, or Imago therapist to visit. That said, using the concepts to understand yourself and others can always lead to forgiveness, understanding and resilience. More on dreamwork coming in March!

Thank you so much for the cake and for your generosity of love and spirit!

This past Sunday, I decided to attend services as an observer. Here are some things I saw:

I saw our teens Miles and Xander courageously lead parts of the service. Did you know speaking in public is the second biggest fear after death? We help empower them with unconditional love.

Kristin and the youth did an inspiring and thoughtful service. Although it’s called “Family Service,” there’s plenty for all ages to contemplate. I was still musing about resilience that afternoon.

There were two new children who were about 5 and 2. Little blonde boys who appeared to feel quite at home, and who (along with Lillie and Alice) added that dimension which reminds us that part of our ministry lies in the world we create for the youngest.

I saw Larry gently guiding one of the young boys to take his parents’ offering to the ushers. Theresa and I shared a smile, seeing this. The gentleness and encouragement from Larry made an indelible image for me.

The time of sharing joys and sorrows/concerns was a micro-service. People of all ages, shapes & longevity at GNUUC shared the sources of their hope. It was the perfect day to introduce resilience as a theme. While some came in looking like deflated balloons after a week of despair for our nation, I’m pretty sure many left with glimmers of hope. That’s why we exist.

I don’t remember all of the sharing, but one that I can recall was Dan Crowe’s. He stood and said the best antidote for despair is to help others, then listed several area service organizations that need help. It reminded me of my son Colin who says to us when we get into self-pity, GO HELP SOMEONE. That reminds me: we need a few folks to help with transportation and other things for Room in the Inn THIS week. Contact Jesse.

After the service, conversations ranged from casual to deep. At the table I joined, we started out with banter about the Chicken Soup for the Soul books so popular last century, then spoke about death, and how long is too long to live. We didn’t arrive at the answer, but I saw and felt deep listening and respect for all opinions. Someone told me our lunches are the most important thing we do.

At least an hour past the service, I peeked in to see that Mike, Sarajane, and a few others (I know Loretta helped that day, too) still tidying up the kitchen. It’s a mostly thankless task, but I hope those who do it regularly know that it is a ministry, creating a space of hospitality and warmth for cultivating new connections and deepening old ones. (And, if you’d like to give some of these folks a break, volunteer to help. At present, I think Jesse is the person to contact here as well. I saw Nathanael sitting with the family who visited and thought: if I met someone as upbeat and friendly as he, I’d return for sure!

Two new members signed the book! There are others who intend to. When about ten or twelve folks have joined, we’ll have a welcoming ceremony (with cake).

You are all such beautiful people! I’m so grateful to be a part of your collective and individual lives,

With Love,

Cynthia

AGE

As I write this, I'm sitting here at CVS waiting to get a flu shot. The pharmacist told me that if I wait until 2/10, I can get the super flu shot they give people starting at 65. But, I'll be having surgery to fix my hernia repair on my birthday! And I want to be protected before that.

Sometimes, your age bothers you more than others. When I see my high school friends on social media, I realize it's true: we ARE old! But to those for whom 65 seems eons away: it comes along faster than you can imagine, and you will still feel young inside even as your face and body age. You won't be a different person, even if you look entirely different! 

Our February topic is "resilience"... and aging is just one of many things we need to bend and reimagine ourselves for. Parenting, grief, adversity, and illness are a few others.  And it's one of the best reasons for belonging to a faith community.  We can be so much more together than we can separately! We can influence the present and the future. We can learn from and be inspired and challenged by one another. Best of all, we can companion each other as we walk the long journey of life. What a privilege we have in each other!

Thanks for allowing me to companion you on this journey. 

Love, Cynthia 

GNUUC friends:

I won’t see you this weekend! I’m here in Kentucky resting, studying, and cooking!

Here are some links and addenda from Sunday’s sermon.

I talked about the connections between Gandhi, Thoreau, and MLK. Here’s a link to King’s UUA Ware Lecture

Here’s a link to one of the stories about Nashville’s history of racism.

I encouraged all of us to find a way to be of service. One opportunity I learned about this weekend was The Little Food Pantry.

I know that many of us as individuals and all of us as a congregation give money to local organizations. I urged you to consider in-person service as well, particularly when the service takes you to a neighborhood that you may not otherwise visit. Doing this throughout my ministry, and especially taking my kids along, probably made a drop in the bucket of need, but it helped me become more aware, more empathetic, and more informed. I am sure it helped my kids grow into adults who practice service and are dedicated to the liberation of all persons. Marjorie has used her fluency in Spanish to serve marginalized communities; Casey does yoga workshops and marathons to benefit social service groups, and Colin goes weekly into jails and rehabs to lead 12 step discussions. None of them are saints, but they have a heart for those less fortunate than they.

Here’s another link to look for volunteer opportunities in Nashville. If you try something new, let me know how it goes!

As MLK wrote:

Life’s most persistent and urgent question is, “What are you doing for others?”

Have a pleasant week! Stay warm, Cynthia

In February, I will begin the second half of my year’s contract with you. I’ve been listening, observing, and contemplating in addition to the usual tasks of ministry: counseling, leading worship, consulting and supervising.

Hence, I’m planning, with our elected leaders, an Evaluation of Our Ministries which we shall be asking you to take part in soon. This UUA-created document is not just a tool for evaluating the professional minister, but for looking at all our mutual work. You may or may not call them “ministries,” but they are certainly more than tasks, bullet points, or To-Do lists! 

Remember, my door is always open to you to hear your concerns, thoughts, and suggestions. I don’t accept anonymous feedback and contend that it is always harmful to individuals and organizations. If some area of church life bothers you, the best course is to have a one-on-one conversation with the individual that is charged with oversight. If you don’t know, find out! Or ask. Then volunteer to help, with your time, money, or expertise. We aren’t an online company, a medical office, or a business of any kind! You aren’t the consumer, and the Staff and leaders aren’t the owners. You all “own” this place and this enterprise, and we each have a sacred commitment (sacred meaning life and humanity affirming, touched by what you deem the ground of our being) to its well-being. We call that a covenant. I’m not scolding. I, too, need reminders of this relationship!

We are together a very small congregation. What you do as individuals and together matters to our ability to thrive. No one can afford to sit back and watch. Each member and active participant is part of all we do, by default. You are all part of the welcoming committee, the PR committee, the social action task force, the caring committee, the lunch team, the RE Committee. Even if you don’t attend those meetings, even if there are no such meetings, you have a role to play. You can play it for the betterment of all your fellow members at GNUUC. Or sit back and watch. Either will affect the whole.

Together, we are writing the history of this congregation. That is no small or insignificant thing. I’m not here to “run” the church; I’m here to do the pastoral work of uniting, comforting, inspiring, and challenging all who pass through our doors. I take that very seriously.

If each of us do, our mission in this wider community will become manifest.

With confidence and love,

Cynthia

Good Day, Dear GNUUC!

First: In the interest of integrity… a correction: It was not Walter Middy who lived a little distance from his body! It was Mr. Duffy in A Painful Case, a short story in James Joyce’s Dubliners.

Here’s the paragraph:

Mr. Duffy abhorred anything which betokened physical or mental disorder. A medieval doctor would have called him saturnine. His face, which carried the entire tale of his years, was of the brown tint of Dublin streets. On his long and rather large head grew dry black hair and a tawny moustache did not quite cover an unamiable mouth…. He lived at a little distance from his body, regarding his own acts with doubtful side-glances. He had an odd autobiographical habit which led him to compose in his mind from time to time a short sentence about himself containing a subject in the third person and a predicate in the past tense. He never gave alms to beggars….

Here’s a link to the story:

http://www.online-literature.com/james_joyce/964/

The point was (and is) that most people of European/ Caucasian descent live less in our bodies than in our heads. We tend to over-think, over-analyze, and over-worry. On the topic of Integrity, we practiced some easy chair yoga, and I hope those who were there felt some of the benefits of simple yoga postures. Besides those I mentioned, yoga can help with sleep, digestion, and anxiety. It’s all about mind/body integration, a word closely related to integrity.

As I write, we are on the precipice of war with Iran.

We (the American people) have been lied to and/or had the truth hidden from us throughout history, but this phenomenon has been exacerbated by the omnipresence of social media and “news” streams that enable and disseminate half-truths and outright falsehoods. Lying and deceiving has become the accepted norm for many.

There is much we can not control. But the endeavor to be truthful and courageous in our own lives is something we can manage, and it’s more vital than ever.

The courage it takes to live from our own truth is evoked by the Mary Oliver poem I shared on Sunday:

The Journey by Mary Oliver

One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting their bad advice – – –
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.‘
Mend my life!’
each voice cried.
But you didn’t stop.

You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations – – –
though their melancholy
was terrible. It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.

But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice,
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do – – – determined to save
the only life you could save.

We will continue with our study of Integrity next Sunday, by focusing upon honesty. You might try going through an entire day being truthful. It’s a great exercise to notice how often we bend or stretch the truth, often because we want to be liked, get approval, or not hurt someone’s feelings. 

Have a good week! I’ll be back in town starting Thursday morning.

With love and hope for peace,

Cynthia